


Coffee and Cigarettes

by Levitation_Cloak (BadWolfNovak)



Series: Marvel Music AUs [2]
Category: Black Widow - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Issues (Band), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Music - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Also he's hella good at unclean vocals, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Brief mention of clint/loki, Bucky and Maria sibling band, Bucky plays bass, Cheating, Clint's a photographer, Hawkeye - Freeform, Issues (band) - Freeform, M/M, Maria and Bucky are brother and sister through adoption, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Natasha is a music manager, Partially Deaf Clint, Photography, Punk Rock, Spanish speaking maria hill, Steve hates clint, Stony - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, bucky has anxiety, clint has depression, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWolfNovak/pseuds/Levitation_Cloak
Summary: AU in which Bucky and Maria have a band together.Clint is a photographer and brother to Natasha, who manages Bucky's band.Clint is awkward of course and is super in love with Bucky.Steve sucks. He takes advantage of Bucky's love for him.Tony has a crush on everyone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The band I'm using as Bucky and Maria's is called Issues and you should check them out.  
> I'm using a lot of lyrics from their newer album but some from past albums as well.
> 
> Also sorry this sucks. I'm just trying out some ideas.

Bucky put out his cigarette and stretched, nervous. He slung the strap of his bass over his head and closed his eyes.

"James, you ready?" Maria asked, taking her brother's hand and squeezing gently. She rested her chin on his shoulder, mumbling quietly so only Bucky could hear; it was a routine they had grown into before going on stage.

 

 _Everytime you push me away_  
_You turn around and you beg me to stay_  
_Cut down by the things you say_  
_I've had enough_

Bucky's eyes were squeezed shut as he let the growls fall from his lips. This was always one of his least enjoyable songs to perform, but it was a fan favorite and he wouldn't deny them what they wanted to hear. He focused on controlling his breathing and the feeling of his bass strings beneath his fingers rather than the lyrics he wrote during one of the worst times of his life.

 

Bucky was mopping up his sweat with a small black towel backstage when it began.

"One more song! One more song!" The crowd chanted eagerly. Maria bounced on her feet happily, "James! Hear that? C'mon!" She exclaimed as she rushed back onto the stage to the sound of screams.

Bucky chuckled at his sister's enthusiasm and followed after her. Natasha, their new manager flashed him a smile and thumbs up.

The sold out show was followed by meeting their dedicated fans, grabbing pizza and heading back to their tour bus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics are an Issues song but I'm not using them as a song by Bucky's band. I want Clint to meet Bucky without any preconception of him.

"Okay, I think we're done." Clint announced as he took one last photo. He let out a quiet sigh of relief and began packing his gear.

"Wonderful! My assistant Pepper will set up an appointment to go over which picture will go on the cover of Rolling Stone." Tony smiled and straightened his navy tie. He shook Clint's hand briefly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an appointment with a blond Adonis." Stark hummed, more to himself than to Clint.

Clint rolled his eyes and stood, camera bag slung over his shoulder. "It was a pleasure Mr. Stark." He tried to sound sincere, but honestly didn't care for the billionare. After stopping to talk to Pepper, Clint headed out of the lavish building to his jeep.

 

_I said I wouldn't let you down_   
_But it's like we both have changed somehow_   
_You've made a disease of this town_

Clint sang along, feeling a slight pain in his chest. He let his mind drift to the tall, raven haired man that had ruined his life.

The ringing of his phone pulled his attention away from old memories. "Tasha? What's up?" Clint asked as he pulled into the parking garage of his apartment complex.

"Hey baby bro. Wanna meet for lunch? I want you to meet some of the members of the new band I'm managing." Natasha's voice came through the speaker.

"Sure. Pick me up? I just finished a shoot and I need to change and put my stuff away." Clint replied as he balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder.

"On my way baby hawk." Natasha hummed before hanging up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Bucky meet for the first time. Why can't Bucky stop staring?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation volver a me - Return to me

Bucky fiddled with his napkin, lost in thought. They had only been home in New York for two days and he'd already fallen back into his bad habits.

"James? Volver a me, hermano." Maria mumbled, gently pushing a strand of hair out of Bucky's face. "Where are you huh?"

"Sorry. I just..being home..you know.." Bucky mumbled, stuttering slightly. He passed his napkin to her, "oh I wrote some stuff." he mentioned.

 _I'm so mad at myself_  
_For giving in to what I want, never again_  
_That feeling we felt_  
_We called it love, you called it off_  
_And I never been so mad at myself_

Maria silently looked over the lyrics, trying to come up with a tune in her head. After a moment of silence she nudged Bucky's shoulder. "You wanna talk about him?"

Bucky replied with a shake of his head. He looked up, spotting Natasha's fiery red hair along with messy dishwater blond hair heading to their table. He perked up slightly, interested in the new face.

"Hey guys. This is my baby brother Clint. Clint this is Maria and Bucky. Maria's got the voice of an angel and Bucky's a lyrical genius." Natasha praised as she introduced everyone.

Maria beamed and blushed slightly as she waved to Clint.

Bucky couldn't help but stare silently at Clint for a few moments, admiring his looks.  _Wow. He could write a thousand songs about Clint._


	4. Chapter 4

_Holy fuck, he's a work of art._ Clint thought as he took in Bucky's face. His eyes drifted to Bucky's tattooed hands and he bit his lip.  _How can hands be so hot?_ He asked himself as he sat next to Natasha.

"He's a photographer. He won't admit it but he's amazing." Natasha gushed proudly. She smirked and nudged Clint in the side when she noticed her brother checking out Bucky.

Clint jumped slightly. "Huh? What'd I miss?" he asked, regaining his composure. He blushed when he locked eyes with Bucky.

"Nothing much. Ready to order?" Natasha chuckled as she picked up a menu.

"Uh, yeah. Coffee and pancakes." Clint hummed happily. He knew what his sister's response was going to be.

"Its lunch Clint! Get lunch."Natasha exclaimed, scowling when the blond just laughed.

"Actually, that doesn't sound half bad." Bucky chimed in with a breathtaking smile, "I think I'll get the same."

Clint beamed and gave his order to the waitress. He sat quietly for a few minutes, listening his sister talk to Maria.

"Can I photograph you?" Clint blurted impulsively to Bucky, throwing the other off guard.


	5. Chapter 5

"Can I photograph you?" Clint had blurted, throwing Bucky off guard. He scrambled a few seconds before nodding, not trusting his voice.

He saw Clint relax, cracking his knuckles. Bucky instinctively reached over and placed his hand over the blond's. "That's a bad habit. Reduces your grip strength." he murmured.

Bucky couldn't help but stare at his hand covering Clint's. There was a slight tugging feeling in his chest at the sight. 

He was brought out of his head when the waitress came with their food. He pulled his hand away and focused his attention on his food.

_God, why am I so nervous?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Bucky and Steve's backstory. It'll be two parts, this chapter and the next.

Bucky had been home a total of 5 hours before the text came. He fished his phone out of his pocket and sighed. It hurt every single time, but he could never stop this habit of his.

_2 years earlier_

Bucky met Steve at the park. He had been playing guitar to some of the local kids, a routine he had fallen into every thursday afternoon.

Steve had wandered over to listen. Bucky remembers every detail about that day. Like how the sun made Steve's hair even more golden than it was, and how he practically drowned in the blond's ocean blue eyes. 

It wasn't until Bucky had finished and the kids had all said goodbye, that Steve spoke.

"You're really good." Steve smiled, sitting next to Bucky in the grass.

"Thanks." Bucky mumbled, nervously as he out away his guitar. He froze slightly when he felt Steve's fingers brush his shoulder.

"You wanna grab a cup of coffee or something?"

And with that one question, Bucky's life was sent into a downward spiral.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where I'm going with this now honestly. I had a whole plot/idea for the Steve/Tony relationship but I forgot it and i didn't write it down so..yeah. this is going to suck.

Bucky pulled on his hoodie and headed out of the apartment he shared with his sister. He walked the familiar route, angry with himself, thinking about everything he put himself through because he thought he was in love.

 _They were together for a year before_   _he_ _found out._

Bucky fell hard and fast for Steve. 

His life was almost perfect. His band had just got signed to Fearless records, and he had a perfect boyfriend. What could go wrong?

Turns out, a lot of stuff.

Bucky was relaxing at home, writing some new songs when his sister stormed in.

"Hey princessa, how's dad?" He asked, setting down his notebook.

"He's great. Loving retirement. But James, there's something I need to ask.." Maria mumbled, sitting next to her brother.

"Yeah?..everything okay?" Bucky asked, nervously tapping his fingers on his knee.

"How much do you know about Steve really?" his sister asked, stopping his hand.

 "Uhh..why are you asking me that?" Bucky mumbled, tugging at a hole in his jeans.

Maria took Bucky's hands in hers and sighed. "James. I think he's seeing someone else. His ex, actually."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Steve is a real dick  
> Also this takes place after Maria tells Bucky about Steve cheating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I've been super duper busy and had some life issues I was dealing with. But I'm back! Not sure how great this will be but I tried.

"We never said we were exclusive Bucky. Besides, I told you I don't really see a future with you. We're just having fun." Steve shrugged, fingers dancing up Bucky's chest.

The brunet felt like he was just stabbed in the chest. Repeatedly. "Why even act like this was a relationship then? Why tell me you love me? Why did you make me seem like I was your entire world?" The brunet's voice grew louder as he got more and more upset. He got up, pacing, fingers running through his hair, and eventually desperately tugging.

Steve sighed, annoyed. "Look, we're both young and I think you're hot as hell but I don't wanna be tied down. Besides, Tony was begging for me back. And he's a great fuck. I mean you are too but he's got more toys and more experience. I like hanging out with you and stuff though. You've got more depth. A moody, artistic vibe that I like." The blond smirked, stopping Bucky and trailing his lips along the other's jaw. 

Bucky shivered slightly, his mind getting hazy. Steve's cologne and words were making his head spin and he was losing control. "If he's so great, why break up? Why chose me to be your lap dog?" His voice shook slightly. He tried to break away from the blond, failing.

"Tony's got a big ego. I wasn't up to standard publicity wise or something. Rich bastard. But does it even matter? You have me right now. I'm yours right now. Don't you want me?" Steve purred into Bucky's ear. 

_Why does he keep falling for the devil in disguise?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucky's habit is revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This occurs when Bucky gets home from touring. I mentioned his "bad habit" in the previous chapters. This is what I meant.

_You know how to make it hard to walk away_

Bucky knew he shouldn't be there. He knew and yet there he was. His shoes kicked off and hands fumbling with his zipper. Below the waist his body was reacting like it usually did, but his mind was all over the place. 

He cursed under his breath. The brunet had forgotten to take his anxiety medication and he was paying for it. Sweaty palms were always the first symptom. Then his stomach was turning and cramping. His heart was too loud and he swore he could hear his own pulse. 

"Bucky! Hurry up! Not getting any younger in here!" Steve called from his bedroom.

"Y-yeah! H-h-hold on!" Bucky stuttered, before dashing into the bathroom. He slid to the floor, back against the wall. He curled up, knees against his chest. He tried every coping method taught to him at therapy but nothing seemed to work. 

Minutes passed and Steve lost his patience. He sighed and slid his boxer briefs back on before heading to the bathroom. He opened the door to find Bucky naked from the waist up only and leaning on the sink, hands on each side, staring at the mirror.

"I-I don't think I should be here. This is a mistake." Bucky mumbled, not meeting Steve's eyes in the mirror.

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes. He went behind Bucky, not noticing how the brunet flinched. "Mistakes don't feel this good Bucky. No one makes me feel as good as you can." Steve hummed, kissing along the other's shoulder. "Stay with me tonight. You've been touring for so long. I feel so empty without you inside me. Stay." The blond purred into Bucky's ear.

_He's a fiend for attention a_ _n_ _d I'm a guilty dealer_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyric at the end is actually supposed to be "SHE'S a fiend for attention.." but I changed it to he because..Well it made more sense to the story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which Bucky is having a good day and Clint makes it ten times better  
> Also sorry this sucks. I'm tired.  
> Also this takes place after Clint and Bucky have known each other for a bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should put a sensitivity trigger warning here. This chapter contains mentions of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and attempts.

_This world is a big place  
And I ain’t got nowhere to go, so take me on a roll_

Clint was bouncing slightly as he set up. He hadn't felt this happy in a while and he wasn't sure if it was his antidepressants or the fact that he would get to talk to Bucky one-on-one without either of their sister's teasing them. He made sure his camera was set how he liked and waited, humming happily to himself.

Bucky took a deep breath as he walked into the lobby of Clint's photography studio. He was greeted by a smiling receptionist.

"Hi there! You must be James Barnes. Well I'm assuming since Clint only has one client listed today." The dark haired girl babbled as she typed. She stood and held out her hand. "I'm Kate. Clint's friend and weekend secretary. I've heard a lot about you." She smiled sweetly as Bucky shook her hand.

She led him back into the main studio area where Clint was setting up his laptop and singing quietly along to his Spotify playlist.

"Clint! Bucky's here." Kate made a grand gesture as she introduced the nervous brunet. She left quickly and went back to her desk to surf the internet.

Clint rolled his eyes and met Bucky halfway. "Glad you could make it." He smiled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Bucky smiled at the blond's shyness. "Yeah, I really needed to get out of the house. Plus I like hanging out with you. Even better when it's without the girls mocking us." He chuckled, shuffling his feet. 

Clint couldn't help but check out Bucky. The brunet was decked out in a black leather jacket with a form fitting forest green shirt underneath that matched his high top converse sneakers and dark wash blue jeans. His hair was freshly cut and smoothed back yet still a little messy like he had ran his fingers through it repeatedly.

Bucky ran his eyes over Clint as well. The blond was wearing his signature dark purple shirt that had a pocket with a target and arrow, black jeans and white and purple sneakers. His hair was tame for once and his eyes seemed to sparkle more but that could have been just Bucky hoping.

Clint broke the silence first. "So, let's get started. I want you to feel comfortable so you pick the music." He smiled as they headed to where they would be shooting.

The pair felt incredibly at ease with each other. Like they had known the other for their entire lives. The afternoon flew by with smiles and laughter, and some incredible pictures.

 

_All of my life, I’ve been trying to fit in_

They went to dinner after the photo session. Bucky cursed when the alarm on his phone went off, reminding him to take his anxiety pill. He was confused when a second alarm went off a few seconds later. Clint shifted nervously as he shut off his own alarm and pulled an orange bottle out of his camera bag, that he carried just about everywhere.

"You?" Bucky questioned, mouth agape slightly.

"You?" Clint murmured, as he noticed Bucky pull out a similar orange bottle from his jacket pocket.

"Anxiety." Bucky shrugged, biting the inside of his cheek nervously, scared that the reveal would send the blond running. Mental illness was so taboo, and it had been a deal breaker with many people the brunet was interested in.

"Depression." Clint replied, with a small sad half smile. He felt a weight lifted off him with Bucky's reveal. He felt more comfortable, if that was even possible, with the brunet now that he knew.

 

They ended up in the park, lying on the grass and breathing in the night air. They found a dark place to be alone and only the end of Bucky's cigarette could be seen besides the stars.

Clint reveled in the smell of the brunet next to him, so close that their shoulders were pressed against each other.  _God, he smells like smoke and summer rain and leather. Like safety and hope._

Bucky blew smoke out of his nose and turned his head to look at Clint. "Can I ask for some advice? We're pretty well acquainted now. I mean, I consider you a friend." 

"Yeah. We're friends. What's up?" Clint asked, still looking up at the sky. His heart felt a twinge at the word 'friends'.

"Have you ever been in a relationship that you know is bad for you but you can't fucking leave?" Bucky mumbled, almost silently.

Clint sucked in sharply as a memory hit him. "Yeah. Yeah I have. It's uh, it's actually why I ended up in therapy and on these fucking pills." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "He was my high school boyfriend. We were supposed to get married and all that fairytale stuff. But um,..Well life's a bitch and that didn't happen. It was great at first, but after high school and college, things got..rocky. We always had problems with his family, they were really snobby. They didn't like me much but he always said that he didn't care what they thought. He didn't want to go into the family business of law, but when we both graduated from high school, he changed. He went to law school, and I went to art school. We stayed together but after, when he started working for his family's firm, he said he didn't want anything serious anymore. He didn't have the time or energy. And I wasn't "presentable" enough for his status now." Clint scoffed bitterly before sighing. He sniffed slightly.

Bucky studied Clint's face as best as he could, feeling uneasy at the pain radiating from the blond's words.

"So we had a purely physical relationship. And I had to watch him woo and marry a man that was up to his family's standards. And then he broke it off with me. During the whole time we were fucking, I went through really bad depression. I had followed him here to New York, I'm from California, it's so fucking different. I didn't know anyone, didn't have a job yet, and had no family here." Clint cracked his knuckles. 

Bucky frowned and took Clint's hand, squeezing gently. He couldn't find the words to comfort him.

The blond's heart sped up slightly at the physical contact. He squeezed back lightly.

"Natasha called one day, and I didn't answer. So she freaked. And flew in as fast as she could." Clint stopped, swallowing. "I was lying in a pool of my own blood. I just wanted to die. There was nothing left for me. I had lost interest in everything I loved. I didn't have anything to live for. And I should have asked for help..I should have.. but.." the blond stopped, not even noticing that he had started crying.

Bucky had put out his cigarette and was wiping Clint's tears. "Hey, I'm so fucking glad she found you. I'm so glad you're alive. And you're so strong Clint. And you deserve to be here." He murmured, gently cradling the blond's face.

Clint blushed and avoided Bucky's eyes. He sniffed and sat up, running a hand through his hair.

The brunet sat up as well, frowning. He nudged the blond gently. "You've come so far Clint. And you should be damn proud; I'm proud of you. I don't know if I could come back from that." He admitted, trying to make the other feel better.

Clint turned and stared at Bucky for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him softly. He pulled away quickly, stuttering. "Fuck.. I-sorry! I don't..I didn't mean to.."

He was cut off as Bucky slid his hand up the blond's neck and pulled him back for a long deep kiss. 

Bucky felt everything melt away when they kissed.  _This feels different. It feels like home._

_I found myself inside a self created bliss_  
_And now I’m more alive than I have ever been_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch my Rent reference? If you did, I love you.


End file.
